How did you choose your first harness sex toys?
Choosing a first harness and sex toy set can be quite a journey in itself, filled with research, self-reflection, and even a little trial and error. For many people, this process involves asking questions like, What do we both want from this experience? What are our comfort levels? and, importantly, What will make us feel both excited and comfortable?
Imagine starting by browsing online stores or walking into a local adult shop with your partner, both a bit curious and maybe even a little shy. If you’re new to harnesses, the sheer variety might feel overwhelming. There are so many options: various styles of harnesses, different types of dildos, various materials, and shapes. Each choice offers its own unique experience, and you realize quickly that there’s more to consider than you might have initially thought.
First, there’s the harness itself. Many people choose a basic O-ring harness for their first time, something versatile and relatively simple. It’s the type of harness that can accommodate different sizes of toys, giving you more flexibility for the future. For a lot of beginners, adjustability is key; you’re looking for something that can be tightened or loosened, especially around the waist and thighs, to ensure both comfort and security during use. After all, if the harness feels too loose or restrictive, it could affect the entire experience.
Then there’s the material of the harness. Many beginners lean toward materials like soft leather or high-quality fabric that feels comfortable against the skin. You may spend a few minutes running your fingers over different fabrics, testing how they might feel. Some people prefer vegan-friendly materials or body-safe silicone, so they can feel good about what they’re wearing in every way. Breathability and ease of cleaning are also considerations; you’ll likely want something that doesn’t require elaborate maintenance and can be easily cleaned after each use.
Next comes choosing the toy itself. The process of selecting a toy that works with your harness may require thinking about size, shape, and texture. Many first-time users choose a medium-sized toy—something that’s not too intimidating but also feels substantial enough for an immersive experience. A lot of beginner-friendly harnesses come with a standard dildo, often made of soft, body-safe silicone. But if you’re browsing separately, you might test different firmness levels, holding each one to get a sense of its weight and flexibility. After all, comfort is essential; you want something that feels pleasurable for both you and your partner, with no awkward surprises.
For many couples, choosing a toy is as much about the mental experience as the physical one. You might discuss what shapes appeal to you both, or perhaps even explore options with subtle curves designed for targeted pleasure. Some couples might choose a toy that resembles something familiar, while others may go for a more abstract or colorful design, adding a playful or adventurous element. It’s a bit like picking out the ingredients for a new recipe—you want each element to complement the others and create a harmonious experience.
During the process, there may be moments of hesitation, especially if one or both of you are new to this type of intimacy. You’ll likely check in with each other, sharing thoughts, laughing off any nervousness, and building up excitement. This selection phase can be deeply bonding; it’s a time when you and your partner explore preferences, boundaries, and desires together, often realizing just how much you’re willing to share and discover as a team.
Then there’s the practical side: choosing something that’s easy to use and compatible with your harness. Some dildos have built-in suction cups or flared bases, ensuring they stay securely in place once the action begins. You’ll want to make sure the size matches the O-ring of the harness for stability, and that it feels like a natural extension of the body rather than an awkward add-on. Little considerations like these might seem tedious, but they make a big difference when you’re finally ready to use the harness.
Finally, many people also think about aftercare—choosing materials that are easy to clean and store. Some couples opt for a small toy cleaner spray, a dedicated storage bag, or even a discreet case for safekeeping. Taking this extra step ensures that when the mood strikes again, your harness and toy are ready, adding to the anticipation.
In the end, you walk away with a carefully chosen harness and toy, a sense of shared anticipation, and maybe even a bit of pride. You’ve put in the time to create an experience that’s both exciting and safe, and you’ve deepened your connection along the way. It’s more than just picking out items; it’s about laying the foundation for a new form of intimacy that’s unique to you and your partner. And by the time you get to that first experience, there’s a comfort in knowing that every element has been chosen with care, ready for an adventure that’s as thrilling as it is meaningful.
